My Home and Native Land

The past two weeks have been somewhat surreal. Two Canadian soldiers were attacked and killed on Canadian soil. The news sent me absolutely reeling.

I have many friends who work and live in the downtown core of Ottawa and I was concerned for them, their families and all citizens and first responders.

It wasn't so much that these acts were unthinkable, it was more that I was not able to collectively grieve with my colleagues, my community and my country.

I have been deeply moved by the Bruce MacKinnon's cartoon depicting our bronze war memorial solders aiding Cpl. Nathan Cirillo. I have also been moved by the people of Cold Lake who helped to remove graffiti from a mosque targeted after these attacks.

I have also been left feeling impotent to "do" something. Through the internet we were able to watch Prime Minister Harper's speech live to Canadians. While it did not move me, it did make me feel connected to my country, to Canadians and to my colleagues. I knew I was doing what a hundred thousands Canadians were doing and that gave me some comfort.

It is in times of crisis that we as a country or as a community seem at our best. I read numerous posts urging people to love and not hate; to raise people up not cast them down; to judge not lest you be judged.

Leonard Cohen's Anthem has been running through my head this week:

The birds they sang
at the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don't dwell on what
has passed away
or what is yet to be.
Ah the wars they will
be fought again
The holy dove
She will be caught again
bought and sold
and bought again
the dove is never free.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
There will always be conflict, sometimes it will be on our shores, and sometimes a far away shore. What matters is how we respond; are we better for it, did we fight for those who could not do it for themselves? I believe Canada and Canadians will not be deterred from pursuing a world that embraces basic human rights for all.

So as a Canadian I am taking comfort in the fact that in my very small corner of the world in a very small way I am helping youth; so that they do not become disenfranchised by poverty, hopelessness, lack of access to education and drug abuse. Whenever we reach out in a positive way beyond our own borders we broaden the knowledge the world has of Canada, of what we stand for and what we won't stand for!

God keep our land, glorious and free.

The Honeymoon is Over

At Cuso they taught us about culture shock, the disorientation you feel when you are in a new environment. It has four distinct phases Honeymoon, Frustration, Adjustment and Mastery.

In the honeymoon phase, everything is new and exciting. In Grenada who wouldn't be in a honeymoon phase? You are on a gorgeous tropical island where people pay thousands of dollars just to visit for a week! But then like all honeymoons they come to an end.

My end was on Friday. It was a school holiday so I was off. A Cuso volunteer had asked me to lead a session with her team. It was held in a gorgeous recreation centre- with no teenagers in it, at all. On a PD day!! Weird but OK.

The session was great, lots of energy, lots of learning and they really enjoyed the session. Then a talking head got up, grabbed a podium, which I guffawed at, and began deriding these young workers! He actually called people out by name as to who was late! Then on to dress code, then where they had to be; when they had to be; with whom they had to be! It was unbelievable. He said he knew they would rather be liming- which is like hanging out doing nothing, and implied that they were liars. I actually retook the floor to try to rebalance the energy but to little avail. People were angry, frustrated and cursing (which is illegal here- so a very bold statement).

My co-worker was furious. We went for a drink afterwards. She is so frustrated, things keep changing, people are undermining her work, and you are fighting against ingrained mentalities that are very difficult to budge. I could totally relate. We agreed to meet up later to go listen to a band at Le Phare Blue with our Cuso Manager and another Cuso staff officer from Ottawa.

We were meeting at 8:30 out in Egmont and I decided to bring the boys for the experience. We got there on time- none of our party was there... which in the Caribbean is not a huge surprise. After about 5 minutes we got a text they weren't coming, the transportation had fallen through. This however left us a lone in a lovely restaurant with gorgeous music and the best cappuccino I had ever tasted.

So then you get frustrated. Why is everything so hard? Why can't people be where they say they are going to be? Why can I have a great cup of coffee but can't get people to set up an infocus machine ahead of a presentation? Luckily the music was divine and my frustrations melted away on a comfy couch with my family around me.

The second phase of culture shock is frustration. And there is lots to get frustrated about. Our sofa & chairs are so rough I have to lay a scarf on them to sit "comfortably", our fridge leaks so much cold air you would think it was an A/C unit, you can only pay bills in person at the utility or internet stores. Poor Brent hasn't even got out once to kiteboard because there is so much minutia to deal with.

Hopefully this phase washes over us like the waves at Magazine Beach and we just roll with it. I don't feel stuck in this space, but just very aware that you can't do things the same way you do back home.

The next phase is adjustment and then mastery. A Peace Corps volunteer is at mastery. He can tell me what number bus goes where and how to tell if a certain fruit is ripe. But his two years here ends in December. I'll get to adjustment for sure.

Yup sipping a tea, overlooking the lagoon and getting ready for pancakes and bacon- I'll move on. No sense worrying about what you can't change, focus on the work, the trainees and the girls and maybe getting some cheesecake with my cappuccino for my birthday when we go back to Le Phare Blue!

OMG Sara is doing hash!

Starting point of the hash

First I really don't know what drug hash is, I think it is ganga, but I have always been totally oblivious to these things! Here a hash is a weekly run or walk on Saturday afternoons called the Hash House Harriers. Hash House because hash is what rum is made from- traditionally the runs start and end at a rum distillery or a bar!

This week was Oktoberfest and there are a number of Germans on the island so a theme was formed. We went to the tiny town of Munich (get it?) to do a 2.5 mile walk and the runners 5 miles. As I mentioned I am still very much afflicted with "the chicken" and probably if I had realized what it would be like I would have passed.

We met up at a school destroyed by hurricane Ivan and parked on their playing field- the bowling area for cricket was covered over to protect it. The run was to start at 4:00 and apparently these folks are on German time because we got there at 4:03 and the whole pack of 200+ was gone!!

A true paper trail!

This guy actually had a monkey on a leash behind him!

We had to sign in as "virgin" hashers and pay $2 EC each about maybe $3 Canadian dollars. It was really well organized,  everyone checks in and when they come back they check out and then they know if anyone is missing. A trail of shredded paper is laid out to follow and you just keep following it.

Unfortunately it had poured rain yesterday so the trails were unbelievably slick and steep. The result was the pack backed up very quickly as people had to use their hands to get up. So we found the pack early on but once they were up the first hill we almost never saw them again! I knew I was slow because their was someone herding the back of the pack. He hung out with us.

Lots of breaks to "look at the views" or catch my breath

For me it was a very difficult hike as you constantly had to grab vines and trees to keep from falling down. All that reaching and grabbing with sore shoulders was not great. After 15 minutes I was ready to give up, but you're in a rainforest, you can't just turn down the next road. So we hiked on past some stunning views, cocoa trees, pineapple, mango and papaya trees.

When we finally finished, an hour later, there was German food for sale- sausages, soup and then burgers for those less adventurous. I had a delicious soup and the boys all had burgers- that last brat went to the guy in front of us!! Oh well.

We were all a muddy mess, but it was a good tired (at least I thought it was until I could not sleep last night because I was so sore). We literally bought the T-shirts. Although it is for next weeks hash - they are at 850 harrier hash runs!


So next week will be busy-

• I have an all day PD session with NEWLO;
• Brent and the boys are heading to Grenville to a funeral;
• we are hosting Thanksgiving for 3 of our neighbours; and
• we have the hash!

We may need a vacation from our vacation!

More photos below!

At the  very bottom you can see some of the cars parked for the hash

We did end up coming back through some homes



Still hard to see but that narrow band of brown at the top of my Cuso hat  is the "path" and then straight down!

Not to be out done by the straight ups!

Outhouse along the way

I needed a rope at this point- sadly no rope, just get your butt up the hill!

Coming into a village along the way

Through a village

The new school that replaced the one damaged in the hurricane

Some very muddy shoes

There is lots of local corn here.

Dogs everywhere you go

Those crazy people are runners!! We got passed by lots of them.

It is the virus that keeps on giving!

Similar to the song that never ends Chilungunya is the virus that just doesn't go gently into the night. I must be at almost a month with it. Some days are good days and some days Brent needs to come to the shower and wash my hair for me because I can't touch the top of my head. Today is one of those days.

Most Grenadians are finding the same thing, it just doesn't easily let go. Lucky for me on bad NEWLO days Brent can drive me the half hour up the island so I am not on a bus that feels like an amusement ride!

It is definitely painful, I wince frequently when trying to get dressed, but I think the worst part is not being able to help out. Today I tried to lift a piece of Bristol board and carry it off the table. I couldn't do it. So Brent is cooking, doing dishes, cleaning... pretty much everything. Since you have to boil water to wash dishes it is too risky to try to lift the hot kettle to even wash dishes!

So it is back to turmeric and ginger tea and lots of fluids. I still can't complain. I am doing amazing work, in a beautiful country and it is presently 33 degrees. So what if my hair looks a little iffy- I really was never one to fuss about these things.

Hopefully a good nights sleep tonight, but I'll take three Motrin just in case. As my sister always says- stay ahead of the pain!

Not going to make it

A secret goal I have always harbored, but have also known would not happen is making someone's Top 40 under 40 list. I know this isn't going to happen because in exactly a month I will turn 40 and I am pretty sure I am not on anyone's radar. I am remarkably OK with letting this aspiration go.

I had been thinking about my blog for today for a week or so... the countdown to 40 and I knew I wanted to write about this desire to be recognized. Maybe it is part of my complex from attending Queen's that I had to somehow "make it" to be known for my excellence. Or maybe it is just the desire to be accepted by my peers as competent.

We do a great deal of work on goal setting as part of the Defence Leadership Curriculum but not making my goal has helped me to realize sometimes the best thing that can happen is not to reach your goal. Since the universe (or God if you are in Grenada) always provides you with the lesson you need to learn, when you need to learn it, I was given the gift of making the top ten today.

I have been really struggling with how to best assist PAM (Program for Adolescent Mother's), and today I ended up working with about 7 of the amazing young women attending this program. We had a frank discussion about a topic of concern and I came away knowing that I was definitely in their top 10 of people they felt they could trust and relate to. Later I had a similar discussion with another person at PAM and again came away feeling like I had really made a difference.

I realized that making the top ten of a pregnant teenager's list is way more meaningful than making the top 40 in Maclean's, the public service or my alma matter. I wanted this trip to be a learning journey and I am learning so much about what is important and what is just stuff.

Being thankful in Grenada

I won't lie today I started out with a mind to be thankful. I got up early and walked around the neighbourhood taking photos of everyday stuff not just the "Oh my gosh they are amazing" beaches.

It is the everyday stuff that makes up our neighbourhood and our neighbours. Like back home we lucked out in the neighbour department and have people who bring us fresh fruit and help out when something needs to be fixed.

A children's centre sponsored by the Canadian govt a block from our house

Houses go up 3 and 4 deep on lots

And down little paths to homes

The goat trail we take to the left of this drive to get to Foodland or Port Louis

Wooden homes next to...

giant homes!

And always present homes destroyed by Ivan

But where my heart is, is at home with my mom and sister. I usually host Thanksgiving and I have my family and a good friend, Jay, from Canada's beautiful north and whoever else needs or wants a place to have a yummy dinner. It is a little odd to find it 5:00 p.m. and not be in a turkey coma, or cheering a football game, or going for a walk in Proctor Park.

My heart is also with my family because they have been so awesome over the last 40+ days. Lots of calls on Skype and love sent. Also lots of coordinating of things for our family as well as for my schools here in Grenada. It is amazing to think how little it can take to make such a big difference. Some days I can't wait to call my mom or my twin sister Ceilidh and they always listen patiently while I gush, or vent, or a boy explains how he won a game or drew a picture. It means a lot. In fact I was able to Skype my sister yesterday in her hotel room in Sudbury- the world is an amazing place.

So while I am so thankful for the opportunity to work in Grenada and make a difference, I am also thankful for those behind the scenes supporting us. 

We did also make it to an amazing beach today - La Sagesse. It is popular with locals because a river meets the ocean here and creates a shallow pool where non-swimmers can bathe safely. We had amazing luck because there was a thunderstorm right on the edge of the beach but it was moving toward St. George. So while we played in the surf it poured back home! All in all a great day!

Natural Beauty

Just wanted to share some photos taken in the past few days. The cloud formation was this evening, back in Canada that would raise some concerns.  However here this evening there was no wind just a beautiful calm evening with a spectacular cloud formation.

Baby steps at PAM

So today was my foray into the culture and school life at PAM. I spend almost twice the amount of time at NEWLO so PAM feels like a tougher nut to crack into.

I ran a Personality Dimensions  session for both staff and students. Many of my readers will have taken this course with me and Nelly, Erin, Sylive and Brigitte have all set this class up with lots of colour. Doing the same in Grenada is a lot harder. First there are no dollar stores to buy nick knacks! So I made paper flowers and finger pompoms out of streamers. I found hnkerchiefs for the tables and generally did my best!

It was a big success. There is nothing so satisfying as being with people who totally get you. It is also satisfying for the students to see that adults are jut like them too.

For me the best part was hearing all the laughter. I think for most of us having a baby was a time of rest and recovery. These girls are back at school with 5 month-olds or 9 months pregnant. I really admire their drive to further themselves!


I had a talk with Oslyn today that stressed me out though. She knows nothing about giving birth, her milk coming in or what happens to your body. I would like t put a call out for the book "What to Expect When Your Expecting" and "What to Expect in the 1st Year". It would help these girls out so much. Talking about such things is very taboo but having a book that they could be loaned while pregnant would be really helpful.