Bringing the Hash Back

Save the date: Saturday August 8th 2015

We don't plan on rope sections in BBQ HHH

That is the day we are going to bring the Hash culture to Brighton & the Bay of Quinte (BBQ). We've created the BBQ Hash House Harriers!

Our motto: Tailgaters with a Running Problem.

Hashing has been such an amazing part of our time here in Grenada. For those new to our families blogs, a hash is a walk or run that starts and ends at the same place. In Grenada they are organized each week in a different part of the country and you hike through the rain forest, along the ocean or occasionally through a flat field. We encounter goats, sheep, donkeys, horses, stray dogs and a monkey (but only when his owner brings him). The run/walk is usually about 1 hour in length and the dinner and socializing goes on until about 7:00 p.m.

So why do I love the hashes so much and why start them back in Brighton?

Where is that? Probably the thing I love the most about hashes is getting to see the country where we are living and getting to places where very few tourists (and Grenadians) have been.

Climbing up a river bed in Grenada

Back home this resonates with me. When we moved to Brighton nine years ago, I started work immediately and never got to explore. Brent would take me down a road and I would say "I have never been down here!"; the worst part, it still happens.

Those of us who travel will often shake our heads in amazement as we encounter people who don't know the next city or state over (usually in the USA), but while we might all know Toronto, Montreal, and Ottawa; how well do we know Salem, Castleton, Orland or Corbyville?

I want to get to know these little towns, the back roads, the farmers fields. I want to hear the local history, see the old foundries and take the path less taken.

Addiction: We have an addition problem in North American. We are addicted to being entertained by screens- TV, movie, computer, tablets and now phones. We need to get addicted to being entertained and inspired by nature.

I imagine everyone reading this can vividly remember going outside and playing in a local forest, creek or farmers field as a child. It was awesome! We would spend hours out there and never want to come in. In fact my mom had an old school bell she would ring to get us to come in because you cold ignore her hollering, but you could hear the bell across at least three farmers fields! [Mom that is an example- not an admission of guilt, we were always only in the forest; just like you told us to be.]

As adults why have we given up the joy of being out in a forest or a field? Or  has the joy of play been replace with these "tough mudder" competitions which pits you against the trail. You don't have to kill it to enjoy it!

Now in Grenada our hashes often involve hiking up so high I feel like my legs cannot possibly keep moving, but I am taking in my environment, appreciating it, not trying to conquer it. You will find that running through a forest is as much fun as when you were a kid. For those of us who aren't runners (me for sure); I think it is even better because there is time to stop and appreciate the beauty around you and of course snap a few photos.

Notice grey hair, thin, thick, everyone is welcome

Social: Hashes are as much social as they are physical. In Grenada they are an excuse to get together on Saturday night and have drinks and a meal with friends. But unlike most social gatherings where it is limited to certain groups like a mess at the base or a seniors group; at a hash everyone is together. This past hash I was walking with a Grenadian family with a five year old and a gentleman from England in his 70's. (Brent says this is because I am always one of the slowest hashers!) What I enjoy is that it doesn't matter who you are, where you are from or what age you are- you can join in.

My friends will tell you I am not the most social person in the world, but I really enjoy getting to know new people and hearing what their story is. For a few hours anyway, and then I need a nap.

I feel like back home people are too segmented. Whether it is the seniors community at Brighton Bay the Bay or Rosalind Estates, we put up visual and real barriers that says 'only these people here'. I want to have a place where we all come together once a week and build a community. I want kids to meet adults outside of coaches, teachers and family friends. I want people new to the community to meet people quickly, I felt like it took me years to fit in. I also want seniors to reconnect with people who are younger  so that they have stronger support system when they need it.

ParticipAction
If you grew up in Canada in the 70's and 80's you remember this program. It encouraged us to find ways to get 15 minutes of exercise into our daily lives. As you will see from the link it is alive and well, because this concept of participating in activity is even more critical than when I was a kid.


Hashing is a really good form of physical activity. When I started I had chickungunya, but apart from that, I found the hashes sooo hard. I wanted to quit, I wanted to go back, I wanted to sit down and just wait a few hours until I could go again! But I didn't, I just kept putting one foot ahead of the next and eventually I got to the end. Each hash I could feel my lungs building capacity, feel my muscles getting stronger and my ankles (which were hard hit by the Chick V) regaining stability.

If there wasn't a hash planned each weekend I would not independently go out for an hour walk. Interestingly, you use the same excuses not to go out for a walk in a tropical paradise as you use back home - it's too hot (cold), the mosquitos are insane, no one will go with me, I have to clean/cook/shop... But when there is a set time and you know others are going too, it makes it easy to plan exercise into your week.

It is important to note that hashes are not races. No one keeps track of who came in when, although I suspect the runners have some  ribbing that goes on. In fact people who try to make it a race are called race-ists. Not what you want to be! The hash is for fun and to strengthen your capacity. When I started I would take the short walkers trail. Now I do the long walkers and the boys will sometimes walk/jog the runners trail. It is all about getting out there and getting moving. The more you do it the better you feel.

Kids:  I wanted to mention how beneficial hashing is for kids. Of course all the same reasons apply to kids for participating: putting screens down, spending time with people, getting exercise, but for kids it really builds self-confidence and a sense of independence.

This week the hash was crazy and we were turned back because it was too dangerous.  At the start of the hash we were passed by two young boys between 7-10 years old. When we got turned back their mom was at the back of the pack with us, and she was worried. Really worried. Where were they?

The thing is she didn't need to worry about them. Other hashers would have taken care of them, encouraged them to either stay the course or come back with them. (They got through the rope course before it got shut down and ran the whole hash, and were waiting to greet their mom at the finish/start line.)

Full disclosure this happened to me with my boys on a hash with lots of false trails. But what I learned was that the boys making independent decisions about which trail and how to proceed made them so proud of themselves. We found them back at the start hanging out, waiting for us. They made a big deal of how much sooner they had arrived. They weren't nervous about being in a large crowd in a strange place, they felt confident and powerful. That is huge.
 

Waiting for us to finish the hash!

I am hoping that parents with children will be able to let their kids go, either with older kids or other adults to help their children build a sense of confidence. And really it is a loop. There will be someone coming up behind to steer them in the right direction and worse case scenario they sit down and wait for you to show up! But loosening the reign in a controlled environment makes kids feel like they can do it and really that is what we all want for our kids.
 
Two weeks ago the boys raced ahead of us and ended up walking with a British couple. At this week's hash the wife came up to Aiden to say hello and pass some information on to him about the sea turtles. That is cool, my 13 year old was able to make a connection to someone he didn't know and they remembered him enough to seek him out.

It is also an opportunity for you connect and spend time with your children, or other people's! I am amazed at how much my kids chat with me on the hash. They help me across creeks, check on my progress and are genuinely connected with me.

Names: Part of the hash culture is funny names, I think it is similar to roller derby in this way. So here in Grenada there is  Pinkpanther, Little Bear, River Stone Annie, Cabin Boy.... I am looking forward to seeing what names people are given over the hashes  back home. I am thinking mine would be Slow Sara or Tetley Tea!

Help: So in order to make these work we are going to need help!

The where- We will need people to give us contacts of local farmers who would let us use their fields, good routes people have run in the past, places to avoid (think hunting season), local festivals or events we can tie into. As an example we really want to do an orchard run for Applefest weekend, but we need some contacts to get permission.

The how- We will need some volunteers to lead the running hashers (not that we will give you the right route- you go the wrong way you take everyone with you). These people are called FROPs (Front of Pack).

We also need people who are BOPs (Back of Pack), this is an important person because it means that we know everyone on that trail came through.

BBQ- Sometimes we will be able to set up BBQs and cookout where we are. Other times we will need professional help! We would like the proceeds from the BBQs to go to local charities so putting us in touch with people who can BBQ at more remote locations will be helpful. Also if you have a BBQ that will travel, bring it along!

Transportation- Most of the time people will have their own means of transportation whether they bike or bring a car. But some people don't and will need a lift. When you can, offer to pick someone in your area up who wants to join in.

Spread the word- We are hoping for lots of people to become regulars. We know life is busy and there is lots to do, but hopefully this becomes a tradition for locals and an activity for those visiting our area. We have created a Facebook page where we will post the event details for each week. GPS and Google Maps make this so much easier in Canada but having good old fashioned directions doesn't hurt. To get updates you need to "like" the page, then the next hash will appear on your Facebook wall. It will also help if you are planning on coming to a hash to click the "join" button so we know approximately how many people are coming.

We also created a static BBQ HHH website where you can get more information or direct your friends to. The Twitter account will be more active once I get back to Canada and can be on the ground to make preparations.

New shoes ritual

What we aren't keeping: Hashing in Grenada involves a lot of drinking and beer related activities like being sprayed by beer, chugging beer for being various reasons, and drinking beer out of new shoes. This is not my thing. For those who think being sprayed with beer sounds awesome, I apologize. I feel that families and seniors would prefer an environment where we stay dry (literally) and sober. Alcohol in moderation is very social, wearing alcohol is just smelly and makes for an unpleasant car ride home.

We are hoping to develop some of our own traditions for new shoes, new hashers and milestones. Ones that everyone can enjoy and participate in. Most importantly ones that don't have you smelling like a bar.

We really hope people will come out. Our first one will start from our home and be Caribbean themed, of course! I plan to make coconut bake, jerk chicken and pelau. Proceeds will go to send a barrel of school supplies to NEWLO.

 Plan to "Jump in the line" and work that body! See you in 100 days.

The British Invasion

In Grenada that could be a reference to a number of events. The island went back and forth between France and England a number of times. However the current invasion is for a Cricket Test Match. Every hotel, vacation rental and home stay is book for the week long cricket match.

We knew we wanted to see part of the match but everyone has been really under the weather in our house. With this type of match you are never sure how many days it will last, so on Friday we rallied our sick selves and headed over to the National Cricket Stadium for 1:00 p.m. to see what cricket  was all about.

Cricket is an extremely civilized sport; from what I saw it is like chess in that there is zero contact and almost no sweating required. Players still dress in all white, apparently there are no Williams sisters to help shake up the colour scheme of attire. Most importantly they break for lunch and tea. How could I not love a sport that breaks for tea?


Of course in Grenada a tea break for fans is a beer run, but we saw plenty of Brits taking advantage of cheap beer prices (relative to their domestic market). You can get beer for $5 XCD or $2.50 Canadian.

Being someone who loves food I was interested in what gets sold at the concessions. Unlike the hotdogs and hamburgers you would find at a CFL or NHL game. Here it is fried chicken or fish  and chips (fries) another option was Jamaican patties. However like a baseball game you can buy fresh roasted peanuts and cashews, as well as home made plantain chips . We bought a bunch of honey roasted peanuts that were delicious.

Cricket requires translation for the uninitiated. We had wanted to go with Brother Saul or Sister MaryAnn both of whom I am quite should would have a great deal of enthusiasm for the game, but unfortunately I couldn't track either of them down. My next idea was just to find a NEWLO student and buy them a ticket, but even this failed as they were either already there or at the basketball game in Gouyave. Lucky for us our classmate from our Conscious Discipline course was just behind us so we could go back and check our understanding of what was happening.

It was actually a really pleasant afternoon. Unlike hockey where fans scream obscenities and encourage violence, cricket fans seem very happy to quietly watch the game. There isn't even a commentator- which I thought I would have liked because I might have understood what was going on faster. But you quickly realize commentary is unnecessary as it was the same batter for all three hours we watched, the bowlers changed occasionally but really nothing happens that requires colour commentary.

We got to see some highlights. Braithwaite (who plays for the West Indies- remember most Grenadians have British or French last names) got a century which is 100 points at bat. Yay Braithwaite. We saw the Brits score four on themselves by the catcher missing the pitch, ha ha ha. Most importantly we learned how to properly cheer when your team scores four.

I have to say given what I had heard about British soccer fans I was prepared for some rude drunk Englishmen, but British invasion was quite polite and even tempered. Many asked about our shirts, because we look like we should be cheering for England (Caucasian) yet were wearing Grenada shirts and colours .

We left before the end of play because Owen's fever was back and he had been really excellent about staying, but he needed to go home. And good thing we left when we did or we never would have crossed paths with all the goats on Mt. Rush.

Great day, great fans. Sadly West Indies fell to England today but they have one more series on one of the other islands. So I wish them well. There are a number of people following the entire tour of three islands! I imagine the airport will be busy with fans heading back home on Sunday.

Live slow; Sail Fast

This phrase is the motto for the sailing community who reside in the Caribbean. It is on T-Shirts and bumper stickers and for me speaks to the disconnect that we have in North American/European culture between who we are and where we are.

Live slow, sail fast is this notion that you don't have to work hard to play hard. Just relax and enjoy the good life and play hard. Now I am quite sure that many of these folks have worked hard so they can play hard. But I really have to wonder if in their living slow they are noticing that the other 99% can't afford to live slow.

I have said it before, but there is a real misconception about the notion that the Caribbean is "living slow". People here are living every moment. Most people are up by 5:00 a.m. and aren't to bed until their second or third job is finished. Many of them spend weekends volunteering or helping friends and relatives. There is nothing slow about their lives except perhaps for the exhaustion people feel from putting in such long days.

To me proudly displaying "live slow, sail fast" is an insult to the communities where the sailing communities anchor. It shows a total lack of regard for their fellow man. I find it akin to the cries during the French Revolution of "let them eat cake". Or more recently Conrad Hilton who called the people on the plane with him "peasants".  It is amazing how people can be so out of touch with the reality of the people around them.


49 years old this weekend!

Today I was on Skype with my mom. There is a boil water advisory where she lives and she was thinking of running her dishes through the dishwasher. I advised against this as the water needed to be boiling to kill bacteria. She was really frustrated she would have to boil water to do dishes-- which was when I pointed out that we have been doing that every single day for 7.5 months! Live slow...

Most of us will never live slow and sail fast - nor should we aspire to. In fact the people who do embody this motto seem much older than they actually are. It is most likely the leathery tanned skin that seems to mark years of Caribbean living which makes them look so much older. I compare that to the 49 year old Juice who I thought was in his 30's; the 69 year old Shine who we thought was 50; or the 60 year old Mr. Campbell who looks to be in his early 50's. It seems that they way to "live long and prosper" as Spock would say is to live fast and work hard.

I would just say that when you are in another country be respectful of the average person in that country. Would you wear/say/do that in your own country? Last week I was in the IGA and a tourist came in sporting a bikini and a transparent "cover-up". I thought OMG!! Really would she do that on a summer day back home?? I would certainly hope not, of course having seen some of the outfits in Walmart I am not sure if we have a grasp on decorum any longer.

National Volunteer Week

This week is National Volunteer Week in Canada so I wanted to reflect on being a volunteer and what it has meant to me.

Volunteering in Grenada I get to see the ocean pretty much every day. When I am at work I can often hear the Caribbean Sea crashing against the sandy shore. When I am early to work I will often watch the waves come tearing in with sound and fury and then quietly recedes to start the dance all over again.

For me volunteering has been a lot like the waves in the sea. I came rushing into the opportunity with lots of energy, only to get bowled over by the sheer enormity of the task. Probably most volunteers can relate to this, you have an agenda and all of a sudden you realize this is a bit more than you bargained for! This isn’t a negative experience it just isn’t what you expected. I remember volunteering for a parent council at my son’s school and thinking “What have I gotten myself into?”

Finding a balance

Like the sea you find an equilibrium in volunteering. There is a give and a take. You learn to negotiate in the best interest of the charity, non-profit or NGO that you are affiliated with. There

are also highs and lows. Nothing beats the feeling of seeing your organization being successful, and nothing hurts more than making hard decisions about people because of resources or circumstances. But in the end everything balances out.

For me in Grenada that balance meant making a difficult choice. When I first arrived I had two placements. Initially I split my time between the two, but it became apparent early on that what I was supposed to be working on at one, did not need doing. At the same time the work at NEWLO needed considerably more resources than what it had been allocated. While I could find something to do at my other placement it wasn’t something the organization was ready for. So a new contract was struck where I would devote all my energy to NEWLO.

I give a lot of credit to Cuso International for being so flexible. I was always supported by my regional manager, in fact when we made the decision she was travelling on business but still made the time to support me.

Making magic

Our favourite beach here is La Sagesse. It is on the Atlantic side of the island and the sea can be violent with waves over 7 feet or calm and tranquil with barely a murmur. It also has this really neat “trick” I have never seen anywhere else and even then I have only seen it twice at La Sagesse.

When the surf is going out and another wave is coming in the two meet and there is magic.

This is what volunteering in Grenada has been like, making magic. So how do you make magic? I think it is about being motivated. Dan Pink has identified three criteria which must be present in order to be motivated

1.       Mastery- our ability to be good at something and to get better at it

2.       Autonomy – the ability to be self-directed, to plan and execute on our objectives without undue interference from others

3.       Purpose- we seek meaning in what we are doing

Volunteering embraces all of these elements:

Mastery: You tend to volunteer in an area you have expertise or want to get better in.

Autonomy: You have chosen this and you will, often, determine how and what you are going to contribute.

Purpose: Volunteering is the ultimate purpose driven activity. When you volunteer you are fulfilling a higher purpose of serving others or your community.

For many people they are no longer motivated at work. I hear phrases like “it is all pensionable time” and shudder as you see that there is no joy in the work being done. However volunteering gives people the opportunity to reclaim that feeling of accomplishment in a way their workplace or home life may not be able to.

A Receding Tide

Our time in Grenada is drawing to a close. We will be back in Canada June 30^th, just in time for Canada Day!  While our volunteer experience  is not the typical venue for most volunteers, I think the way it changes you are the same; whether you are canvassing for the United Way, participating in  the Terry Fox Run or sitting on a volunteer board:

The people change you: Being exposed to new people, different ideas and points of view broadens your mind and ignites creativity. For me it is not just the different cultures but also getting to spend time with nuns (who are some of the coolest ladies in the Windward Islands) and Rasta that has really enriched my perspective. I have also been lucky enough to take a course at Saint George’s University and my classmates also have broadened my views.  

The work changes you: Making an impact on an issue, a program or a person puts a lot of things in perspective. Sometimes when we volunteer it isn’t always immediately clear that we are making a difference, but whenever you give up your time to put the needs of others ahead of your busy life you are changed. My work here will take a few years to become embedded in the organization and to benefit the youth of Grenada, but I have no doubt that it will.

You change you: I am absolutely terrified of travelling beside water. In fact in Canada I refused to look at houses where I would have to travel beside a river. In Grenada my commute consists of driving at breakneck speed along cliffs that drop hundreds of feet into the ocean. When I travelled in Greece a similar drive sent me into a full blown anxiety attack. Now I travel 2-3 times a week along roads that in Canada would be barricaded off as unacceptable. Have I made peace with my fear? It is more like we have come to an understanding- I am going to work, and I am not going to freak out.

Apart from this extreme example I think volunteering helps you to be a bit more bold, to try new things, and to be more creative. You can become more confident, more resilient and build skills that you always wished you had. You get to choose.

I admire all those who volunteer anywhere, in any capacity, civil society would grind to a halt without volunteers. So happy National Volunteer Week to all the volunteers in Canada and all my fellow Cuso volunteers throughout the world, keep up the good work!

 

Check out the magical waves at La Sagesse!

Give me your honest opinion

Last week my sister was visiting and got a taste of Grenadian honesty. When my friend Sister MaryAnn met her, she said "Just like Sara- only bigger." Ceilidh and I are twins so we do look a lot alike. Ceilidh is about 10 pounds heavier than me (all the good food in Spain hasn't yet come off) but in Canada no one would ever comment on this.

Welcome to communication in the Caribbean!

Almost a year ago Brent and I went to the Cuso course on Skills in Working in Development held in Ottawa. It was here that we were introduced to the concept of cultural differences around being honest.

The activity was run with guests from the countries in which the various participants would be working in- Ethiopia, Jamaica, Peru... The facilitator asked the question similar to "When some does something wrong people in my culture are honest with each other." Then you physically moved yourself along a spectrum laid out in the room of how true you found that statement to be. Not surprisingly those representing the Asian cultures were near end of the spectrum on" not a true statement". I put myself just a little left of centre to indicated I thought usually this was true, and the Jamaicans were at the wall on the other side for "always true".

But then I looked and saw that Shayna, from Atlanta was standing near the Asian representatives practically hugging the wall. As an American I thought she would be between me and the Jamaicans! Then she explained her answer... and many of us started to move toward her.

She said that in American culture being honest was given lip service to but that people really didn't want your honest opinion, they wanted you to tell them what they wanted to hear. She noted organizations were the worst for this although friends and family ran a close second.

In Grenada you would NEVER need to say "Give me your honest opinion".  An honest opinion is always given, even if it hurts or offends someone or everyone. At NEWLO staff sittings I used to be surprised at how seemingly confrontational staff were with  each other. Debriefs on events were no holds barred, as people tried to figure out what worked and what didn't. But this amazing thing happens afterwards people just get on with it. They don't stew and send emails or call friends to discuss, they take what they want and leave the rest.

Now in Canada, people almost always need to solicit an opinion because we are taught that opinions are something that should be "kept to ourselves"- even if we think the person is doing something that will make them look foolish. Better they learn from experience than we hurt their feelings. We have all sighed as we see someone do something we probably should intervene in- but it isn't our place or they didn't ask our opinion. But interestingly enough even when people do ask for an opinion they really don't want it.

This happens to me all the time, as an advisor people come to me under the pretext that they want advice but that isn't actually what they are looking for. Here is just one of many examples of what that looks like in real life:

Someone new to my work asked for an opinion on something they had written and were about to staff up. I pointed out logic errors, spelling and grammar errors, offered history and background. Which was immediately met with a snarky phone call about not wanting that kind of feedback. Lesson learned.

Ironically I had the same request here when someone was writing a university paper and they asked for feedback. I struggled with whether to be honest or not. Then I decided to give an honest assessment, corrected grammar, spelling, organizational structure... They were thrilled for the feedback. In fact now I am the go-to person and review the papers of four Grenadians who are attending university. Talk about a difference!

Working in Grenada has made me realize that for the most part North Americans who ask for input fall into a few distinct categories:

1. Validate me: These people really don't want your honest opinion, they want you to validate what they have already done or are about to do. When your friend asks you if you like the dress she picked for a date, she is not looking for you to be honest. She is looking for you to validate her sense of style and colour. Similarly at work when your boss asks about this great initiative s/he is starting and what do you think? They are already past the input stage, they want you to validate their intelligence, business or technical savvy. These people see an opinion contrary to their own as a threat and believe that the person offering it cannot be trusted.

2. Indecisive: Some people search out opinions because they fear making the wrong decision. While this is a noble reason for seeking assistance it also teaches the asker that their internal system for determining what is good/bad, right/wrong is broken and they need someone else to help them. Trust for these folks is hard because although they want the truth, it hurts when it isn't what they wanted to hear and it leads to conflicting feeling about who you can trust.

3. Constant learners: Some people seek out opinions because they realize that having more information, even negative information helps you grow and expand. They are open to changing their mind and ask ahead of committing not after it is done. These people never fault someone for giving an opinion that is contrary, in fact they believe it builds trust.

We have always known that people teach us how to treat them. So when you have people in your life who are constantly seeking an opinion to be validated we learn that lying to them (or shielding the truth)  is what they want. Now when I get a request for input from my colleague who wants validation I ignore it or give it a non-committal response. I have watched this person staff up documents riddled with spelling and grammar errors, factual inaccuracies and faulty logic because they taught me that they don't want that kind of help.

For me it has been a little hard getting used to the Caribbean style of honesty. When someone thinks you aren't turned out properly they tell you straight up, it isn't "sandwiched" like we are told to do in North America. It is simply them speaking their truth to the person who it should be said to.

Working here is a bit like deprogramming, for so many years I have had to watch everything I say so I don't offend someone or hurt their feelings. Well to be fair I did work for about 7 years with a boss who sought out honesty and had a very thick skin, but that didn't mean others around operated the same way, so it was a balancing game. However you could be honest with him  and he would be brutally honest with you as well.

In North America we have so many filters we use when we are communicating it is hardly surprising to me that most organizations experience massive deficits in trust. This is evident in our use of anonymous surveys, suggestion boxes (real or electronic), Ombudsman's offices, ethics committees/communiques and the list goes on and on in terms of how we subtly (or not so subtly) suggest that telling the truth is not something you do publically or openly. In fact we have spent millions to create systems so that people don't have to tell anyone the truth directly.

In North America people get pissy about being "politically correct" or PC. I would say on almost every course I facilitated someone would raise this issue--I am not allowed to say how I feel or what I think. Now I see how this is damaging our psyche and our ability to be resilient. When you never encounter resistance, when people never say how they really feel we don't allow people to build the capacity to "get over it". And there are a lot of people out there who desperately need to learn this skill!

So do I think you should be able to say outrageously offensive things at work? Probably not. Do I think we need to find ways to have honest conversations at work? Absolutely. We need people who are resilient; who can hear negative/honest information and not retaliate, retreat or regress.

How do we start? By thinking about our own requests for feedback. What are we really looking for? Are you subtly asking people to lie to you so you will feel better about yourself or will you take what comes and not punish the person/relationship for the honesty?

Being honest with yourself is how being honest with others will start.

Good news/bad news

This week has been characterized by both good and bad.

The good news is that the amazing people we know (and some we have never met) raised $2,040 for
Ms. Collins and her son Leshon. We were able to take Ms. Collins to her bank on Tuesday and with the current exchange rate it came out to $4,100 XCD. That would be about four months salary, so it will go a long way to helping her pay for Leshon's medical bills.

My mom purchased a yogurt maker for Ms. Collins so she can make a big batch of  yogurt once a week for Leshon. He needs it daily and it is very expensive to buy here. My sister Ceilidh also brought t-shirts, binders, stickers and a Colitis cookbook for the family. I am very lucky to have such an amazing family.

The other good news was of course a visit from my twin sister, Ceilidh. We had a great visit; I even got a sunburn- something which I have largely escaped here. She left this morning and we were sad to see her go.


The bad news is Aiden had an infected toe(toenail) on Monday so Brent took him to the pediatrician and Aiden was placed on antibiotics. Unfortunately he has had a fever, and sometimes quite high since then. Yesterday we thought we were through the fever but this morning it was back. Luckily, apart from his fever, he is his regular happy self.

But everyone is tired because there has only been one night since last Sunday that we haven't been up in the night with cool showers and sponge baths.


All tuckered out this morning

Of course with this being a long weekend our doctor's office is closed. We did go to the hospital with him Friday but it was going to be $300 XCD to be seen and the nurse was very sweet and told us just to keep cooling him down and lots of fluids- which we thought worked. We have been in touch with the Cuso doctor and since there is no rash, swelling ect. he recommends seeing a doctor when she opens on Tuesday.

Rest assured we will be watching him closely.