Thinking about loss and grieving in Grenada



Friendly faces back at the Hammond farm May 30 2014

Today was a beautiful day at the farm. The sky was the perfect shade of blue, the grass was green and freshly cut. Yet, I was inside listening to my mom standing at a pulpit welcoming family and friends to the celebration of life of her first cousin Mel Hammond. My cousin Debbie (Mel’s daughter) noted how wonderful it was to have so many farmers in attendance when surely there was ploughing to be done, but then there is a time for everything. Today was a time to remember and think of what I might lose.

When you sign up to volunteer internationally you realize that you won’t be able to attend the funeral of a cousin, high school friend or former co-worker. But today made me think about what you miss when you can’t do that.

Grieving can be public or private and no matter where you are in the world you can grieve for a lost loved one. But today I got to sit on the grass beside my beautiful cousin Meghan. I had babysat her when she was a wee girl and bought her the clothes she wore to her grandmother's funeral almost 20 year earlier. She was looking past her four year old daughter Brooklyn at her grandfather’s casket and she was quietly crying while her husband held her and Brooklyn played barefoot with her three year old cousin Margret. I gave her a hug and I realized how important cousins were and how important being there for others is.

When I am in Grenada I won’t be able to physically be there for my cousins, twin sister, mom or co-workers as they go through some of the bumps life puts in the road, nor for any of the joys. When this was a concept it didn’t seem so bad. Having spent the day with my large extended family, hearing their stories about not just Mel but about our times together, I am now aware of how much I will miss.

Maybe it was better when it was just an abstract concept. But realizing I won’t see Erin’s 3 week old baby Gracie again until she is probably over a year old, and Brooklyn will be done her first year in junior kindergarten when I get back makes me realize that if I don’t want to miss out I need to make sure I reach out.